Thursday, December 13, 2007

You Should Know By Now

As I prepare for meeting with my friend/mentor this morning to review what has transpired over the past several weeks of sabbatical, I feel God speaking to my heart in undeniable ways.

Yesterday, I heard some hurtful comments from people from at office questioning the reality of my depression, which is ironic considering they are mental health counselors. As I emotionally exclaimed to a friend-fellow counselor, they should know me by now- it hurts that they believe I would just bail out for no reason! Our history together should tell them I am a responsible, hardworking therapist!

Knowing they doubt my intentions makes it so much harder to return. I want to throw up my hands in defeat.

But then I review my writing the past weeks, how God made miracles happen, saving me emotionally, physically, and financially. He knows where I am. God knows the validity of my depression, and that is the only thing that matters. Other’s view of me does not matter. It hurts deeply, yet I will give my pain to Him.

Finally, my words were spoken back to me from the Lord, piercing my heart as he reminds me of our history together, Him and me. You should know me by now, Shelly. Even my provision the past month should show you my character, and tell you who I am. Trust me, Ask me, Believe me!

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