Friday, September 26, 2008

Another Scary Moment

Had another scary experience yesterday…
Woke up having pressure in my chest again… called doctor, blah blah blah, she wants me (still) to go back to the cardiologist that I went to last year who I still owe $500 for telling me after 2 days of excruciating tests, “you’re fine”. I will go to the pulmonologist doc is recommending, but not the cardiologist.

So I wasn’t feeling ‘right’ at all, still I drove to Northland in the afternoon. I was having trouble breathing and Northland’s lobby is H-U-G-E! When I couldn’t get back in the Worship wing (where I was suppose to make copies), I asked the security guard to let me back, but for whatever reason, he wouldn’t. So I tried to go through the sanctuary… locked. Tried to get Steve from the bookstore… he was busy. So I walked all the way to the Welcome Center, feeling like I just ran 5 miles, where Lori asked what was wrong… “Nothing, just trouble breathing… will you call Susan and tell her I can’t get back to the Worship Wing?”, which she did. I hurried back to the door, not wanting her to leave, and now I feel like I am going to pass out. She couldn’t open the door either and asked me to get the same security guard I had dealt with earlier. Even when I explained that he wouldn’t let me in, she (not knowing what had happened) told me to get him. When I did, he wasn’t happy, said some things and would not let me back.

I lost it. This is why I should not go out when I don’t feel good. I started yelling at him across the church lobby, am sure the whole entire building heard me, and with my speech, I know everyone knew it was ME! Now I am embarrassed, then I didn’t care, I just wanted to breathe. Finally, Susan (who doesn’t know me that well) got the door opened and I apologized for causing a scene, explaining I don’t feel good.

When it was time for me to go home, I sat in my car for awhile, called Bryn, and told her I wouldn’t be going to Bible study because I didn’t feel good. She suggested I get someone from Northland to drive me home, but I promised I would pull over if I felt like I was going to pass out. I made it home, but became disoriented twice – did not know where I was…. Very scary.

I don’t know what is happening. I’m afraid I’ll end up having a black out or heart attack somewhere. There is something wrong. I tried to watch Grey’s Anatomy but could not process the words! Was so weird! I had to turn on the closed captioning to read what they were saying since I had trouble with auditory processing.
Maybe I should attach a GPS tracking system to my ankle so people can track me… I would make for a very interesting thesis project!


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