Monday, September 1, 2008
I’m going to start writing again – really, I am. Maybe tomorrow.
Things are changing in my life, including considering attending a different church, hoping to start Bible Study Fellowship, and major shifts in friendships. All of these changes, I believe, are for the best. But I don’t like them.
I feel like I have outgrown my shell – as comfortable as I am in it, it no longer fits. Life is so scary sometimes, yet beautiful at other times. Everything that has been changing leads to me writing. Having the time, needing just a couple hundred dollars per month, people in my path… it all leads to my writing. Sharing how God has touched my life and how I am nothing without him.
Tomorrow I go back to the psychiatrist. I am nervous about telling him I’ve been taking more of the medication than he has prescribed… I need more, well I WANT more. My escape is sleep. Why is that so bad? Maybe going to a psychologist will help me develop better coping strategies. I’m sure it will help my friendships! It’s not fair for me to dump such serious issues on friends, yet I need to talk about things in my life.
And I will continue to write about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Much of it is out of my comfort level, but I feel called to share my struggles and how they bring me closer to Jesus. See, I have no choice but to lean on Him. The things I experience are too heavy for me to carry on my own. When I can’t take another step, He not only carries my baggage, He carries me. And by traveling this journey with me, perhaps you can find ways to lighten your load along the way.