I can barely walk because my upper legs are sore from crawling out of the ocean Sunday. I have fever blisters from the sun (and can barely talk). I’ve had daily headaches regularly, on top of trouble breathing, not to mention hating to leave the house anyway… so I force myself to go to BSF this morning because I know God has me there to glorify Him through my disabilities (which seem to be accumulating).
I walk the long trek to the sanctuary and am breathing hard… the lady says, “Wow! You look tired. Long day?” (It was 9am.) So I am praying, “God, please don’t let me fall… please…hold me up… whatever happens, don’t let me fall.” I get to the small group, where people are still leery of me… and I raise my hand to answer a question… “What attribute of Moses do you most need in your life?” I answered, “Prayerfulness, because I am so confident that God is in control and taking care of me, that I fail to pray and communicate with Him. I just know He has my back…”
Of course, the whole room was impressed, and relieved, that I am on the same planet as they are. At this point, I am feeling prideful, thinking, “see? You all thought I was a stupid freak! Think again…” Well, God in his humor, took care of that pride as I squeezed my water bottle and water went everywhere… on people, on ink pages (now smudged), all over my pants… it was like a gallon of water! Someone went to get a stack of paper towels as the group went on. The rest of the class, I kept laughing, thinking of the girl next to me jumping as she felt cold water showering her. They must’ve thought I was laughing at the voices in my head.
So we walk back to the sanctuary, me in wet pants, hunched over in pain, feeling like Job. I told God I am glad he has ways to remind me it is not about me, it’s about Him working through me, but did he have to use water? I focused on the lecture, (which is my favorite part of BSF, I like the BS…) which was summarized accordingly… call it coincidence, I call it affirmation:
“If you have been praying for years for God to remove an affliction from your life and He hasn’t, perhaps He is wanting to work through your affliction. Stop asking him to remove it and allow Him to show Himself through it.”
Okay. I get it… I grabbed my crushed water bottle, rolled out of the chair, and walked hunched over to my car.
I thought you painted the picture wonderfully….I could see it all unfolding right in front of me. That’s what good writers do. They put you right in the scene.
Now for the stuff that went on all around you. Yes, it sounds like some of it was coincidence…some caused by a lack of coordination…perhaps some you helped bring on yourself. That’s okay. Most people with bad headaches, blisters, aching body, breathing problems….would stay at home and heal up. You decided to go out and take on the world. Some days we have victory. Some days we flounder. It’s all about our response to what goes on around us when it hits the fan….that is what is so crucial. That you could laugh about the water…that’s a much better response than crying or freaking out.
Every day we have here on planet earth is gift from Him. It is up to each of us to decide what we do with the time that we have. And it is such a short time in light of eternity. When it’s over, and we’re in heaven, outside of time, with new pain-free bodies, new attitudes, …and everything wonderful, it won’t matter how we screwed up down here. The only thing that will matter is we made a decision to accept God’s free gift of salvation because of Jesus’ sacrifice. Once we made that decision, every other decision since then has paled. Though, living in victory definitely is much sweeter than at the whim of the world.
Shelly, don’t let the world beat you up….and give you a Shellacking! And do not operate by victim mentality. That feeds into your CP. And when in doubt, go back to the “play book” for encouragement and hope and strength. You already have a much closer relationship with Moses and Job than most. One day God will have you handling the introductions.