Sunday, September 7, 2008

Seasons Change

What a week! Growth hurts, but it is worth it.
I’ve had a couple of walls brought down through confrontation from both friends and God. I tried using my familiar coping strategies of denial, repression, projection, and isolation but was called on it by someone who cares enough about me to make me angry. Telling me what I needed to hear instead of letting me get away with my ‘default’ behavior. Taking my personal punches and insults in order to allow me to process our friendship. Truly, it was emotionally, mentally and physically draining. But I feel like I have graduated to a higher level of socialization. Some things I learned:
- People who love you keep your best interests at heart – even if it makes you mad.
- Email is not the best form of communication. Face to face is needed in serious circumstances.
- You cannot fully serve/worship/follow God in isolation.
- Give people the benefit of the doubt regardless of your past.
- Discuss, discuss, discuss. Don’t walk away from problems, but give the person a chance to clarify and understand.
- Just like everything else, things that hurt/embarrass/shame/irk you to the point of mental consummation make you stronger if you face them.
- When you walk away, you keep the circle of dysfunction going, which makes the enemy victorious.
- True friends are worth hurting for.

Now that I know I will be receiving Social Security, I am viewing my ‘vocation’ as working for God: writing, encouraging, serving, being His vessel. I am so excited about this new season in my life and am setting new goals with a cool system I found here:
God is good, ALL the time.

1 comment:

a.helms said...

I recently found your blog by accident and have been reading for about a week now. I like this post. It took me 3 1/2 years to get my disability and through that time and actually a lot longer I had to go through a lot of relationship shifts and changes but the pain of facing it all has been worth the friendships I have made in the end. The relationship I finally gained with God has been the real reward for me. I have learned so much about myself and about Him over these years. You may think it is over one minute and the issue may come back up later but it is okay, just remember that it does get easier with time.