A friend of mine went through the next couple of months to plan how she would pay her bills and help me at the same time. She’s practically a single mom who is underemployed, working at a job that does not pay her for what she is worth. Wanting to pay my car payment, she called the loan officer, and tried making a deal with the bank on my behalf. I told her not to worry about my car payment, I know she doesn’t have the money. I honestly do not want her to use her hard-earned money more than I don’t want to lose my car. In other words, her well-being is more important to me than my car. All she said was, “You would do it for me...”
Wow. Honestly, I am amazed how God is changing my heart, amazed at how He is using such a hard season to bless me in life-changing ways. Lately, I am praying for humility on a regular basis. From God’s provision to the quality, unconditional friends He has put in my life, none of it is because of anything I do… it is ALL from the grace of God.
The Enemy has been telling me I am too much of a burden on my friends, which is why some have walked away. I mean, I have a LOT of problems, life-and-death kind of stuff… there is always some ‘crisis’ going on and some people, even relatives, have to walk away for their own mental health. Still, God has given me unbelievable friends who make sacrifices in their own lives, refuse to walk away, and send me emails with words like this:
“We’re all rooting for you, praying for you, glad to be with you, and eager to see how God steers you through this season. Keep glorifying Him...”
It is easy to let such friendships make me prideful, believing I must be a pretty special person for people to travel such a hard journey with me. After asking God to remind me HE has given me all these friends, I found a verse that helps me put all this in perspective. Jesus said: John 6:44
No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him…
The Amplified version says,
No one is able to come to Me unless the Father Who sent Me attracts and draws him and gives him the desire to come to Me…
Even the desire to cry to Jesus comes from the Father. Everything, even the awareness of the existence of God, comes from God… we can take no credit for our faith, mercy and love. There is no room for pride since all we have comes from the grace of God. It is nothing we do, nothing we ‘earn’, nothing we deserve.