Monday, December 8, 2008
As I walked in the church with Twyla, I sensed her debating whether to introduce me to her friends. I gently stated she didn’t need to, in fact, “you can tell them I am mute” I said half-kidding.
People, especially Christians, continue to give me a hard time about my hermit tendencies. They see me in public, joking with people, and assume I am having a grand ole time. I can tell you with all honesty, my social interactions are never without the power of the Holy Spirit.
I just don’t like being with people. Why I chose to become a licensed counselor, I don’t know… Maybe to try to understand people, including myself, so I can learn why I have such difficulty engaging in human contact. I use to worry I would tarnish my Christian ‘image’ by admitting my antisocialism… but not anymore. I want people to know I am going out of my comfort zone all out of obedience to Jesus. I want my friends to know I love them so much, I will do anything for them.
Twyla thanked me for going to her church which, by the way, is an AWESOME church (except the woman who hugged me…) where I felt unusually comfortable. Twyla knew I went for her, as a way of giving, investing in our friendship. Some may think it’s pride, thinking I believe people should feel honored that I hang out with them. It’s not about that at all. Just as friends pray for me, help me with cat sitting, rides to the airport… they don’t do it out of a pompous attitude – rather, they are showing me their love for me… and their love for Jesus. And that is what makes this loner socialize…