Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Healed my Wound


There will be stars by yesterday’s date in my personal paper journal. The day started with me in a very bad mood, feeling resentful and misunderstood. Driving to BSF, I looked for palm trees to see if God ‘was with me’, and fog covered the top of the trees. Symbolic of feeling there was a cloud over me.

When I got to BSF, a lady passed me a devotional she had read and thought of me… the devotional was about palm trees, and she had wrapped it in a palm tree border with pictures of palm trees. “I thought of you when I read this” she said. I couldn’t believe it.

After being inspired by the lecture, which was about needing time alone with God (removing my guilt with wanting to be alone and read/write scripture) I went to Lisa’s house, which is my friend from middle school. We reconnected on Facebook after not seeing each other for 20 yrs. I had the best time!

She has a golden retriever (which is another inside joke between me and God) along with 4 kids from age 8 to 15. I was afraid they’d stare at me or make fun of me. Lisa said, ‘why would they??’ when we were waiting for them to come home from school. I replied, “You’ll see… you don ‘t know my world, watch!” I was wrong. I even asked the 8 year old if she wanted to know why I talk funny… she said she didn’t care, it really didn’t matter, and went back to her dancing.

We ended up going to City Walk, all of us laughing endlessly. The kids loved me, asking me to come back today. It was awesome. Awesome because this family truly seemed to have the ‘perfect life’ (having a pool man, housekeeper, airplane, million dollar house, gorgeous, skinny, etc.) yet you would never know by how they treated me. They made me feel so at home, no issues with cerebral palsy, being single… I felt ‘normal’ in a holistic way. My self-confidence was boosted. It was an amazing day.

God has a way of ‘reaching out to me’ when I am too preoccupied to seek Him. He gave me so many blessings yesterday, I could imagine Him smiling from heaven, watching his daughter ‘play with her friends’. I came home, looking forward to telling Him all about it. I know, He was there, yet He wants me to talk to Him about what matters to me. I woke up yesterday with a wound on my heart… my Father took care of me, and made it all better.

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