I wish I had my medication right now to alleviate my panicking. On the positive side, I’ve checked off ‘to-do’s’ that have been on my list since last June. Submitting queries for Dillion the Dolphin has been on my list for years. Pressure is getting to me. I don’t want to be freaking out when March comes around and I am praying I’ll be able to pay all my bills – including my professional license renewal fee-to myself.
It looks impossible. How am I going to come up with my electric payment which is due to be shut off in 2 weeks? Two weeks! My conditioned response is to sleep as an escape. I would if I had my meds. Yet I’ve slept maybe 22 hours total in the past week. Insomnia has been worse than ever, making me realize how helpless I am on my own. Without God’s provision, I can’t even fall asleep! Late last night, I wondered if He was keeping me awake to talk with me. I prayed slowly, allowing time for Him to respond, and felt His presence with me… it was then that I fell asleep.
The moral of this entry is to focus all our attention on God. Once I turned my attention away from my problems, I was able to fall asleep. He wants us trust Him… keep our focus on Him, and let Our Father take care of our problems. It does no good to sit back in panic, being a victim. All that does is delay a resolution and compound the problems. In order to take His outreached hand, we must stop clinching our problems. Let go, and grab Jesus’ hand.