Sunday, March 8, 2009

Socially Drained

I have been blessed beyond measure this past year. I am so thankful to the people who have helped me, I want to do all I can to repay them. Since I have very little to give and my love language is 'quality time', I've been socializing much more out of obligation.

Me being an introvert and a loner, well, it is physically & emotionally draining me. I wrote the following, which sounds so horrible... but lately, this is how I have been feeling. I need some time alone.

Indifferent

I don't fit your mold, nor do I want to. Socializing is a no win
situation- either I have to appear to be someone I'm not, which
deceives you, deceives me. Or I am 'weird' with "funny" questions,
crossing boundaries when I finally relax enough to take of the masks.
I never asked you to tolerate me. Never asked to be your friend. You told me not to isolate, not to withdraw. So I force myself to go out "to be healthy". This ain't healthy, and if it is- let me be "weird"
and leave me alone.

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