Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Talk Therapy

A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study. --Chinese proverb

A few people have told me I am too smart for my own good in the area of psychology. I know what to say to doctors not only for them to prescribe the medications I want, but also in a way so they think coming up with the drug was their own idea. Have been doing that for 15 years. With psychologists, I know too much about cognitive therapies, psychopathology, and counseling techniques to present myself as a clean slate. Therefore, I haven’t been to counseling for years.

The past few days, I’ve experienced two epiphanies, which came out of nowhere. The first was during an initial Bible study when I was asked if I had a perceived failure that weighed me down. Without thinking, I said, “I’ve always said I have great faith in God and can do all things through Him who strengthens me, yet I surrendered to my depression. Not only am I a Christian, I’m a licensed mental health counselor who had to give up my private practice because I was paralyzed by depression!” Whoa… where did THAT come from?!

The second epiphany happened when I was having a Starbucks date with my friend, Michelle. We were discussing family problems, to which I told her certain relatives of mine have called me a snob since I was in middle school. Yet the same relatives criticize me for not sharing their mindset, which is pure prejudice. Again, without thinking, I said, “I’m sick of feeling guilty for having a college education! I worked my butt off studying, not sleeping, etc. and I’m tired of minimizing it! I am proud of what I’ve done!” Whoa, yet again!

Evidently, I’ve some conversations to have and hidden wounds to uncover.

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