Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Now Hear This!

I am dreading BSF more than ever this morning. We are studying the trials and crucifixion of Jesus. Once a month, I allow my brain to take in Jesus’ death on the cross – when I take Communion.

Working the 12-Steps shows me I ‘escape’ from uncomfortable situations. Take a couple Xanax, go to sleep, and believe it will be all better whenever I wake up. Of course, this is twisted thinking. And, of course, escaping in no way helps alleviates the situation. (As I write, I had to turn the TV channel from a news story covering animal abuse.)

The treatment of Jesus is too much for me to process. Oh, the way they beat, flogged, spit at, and crucified Him is only part of my heartache. (I, for one, cheered when Peter cut the enemy’s ear off, though I understand it was wrong.) Realizing all the Father and Jesus did for me is too overwhelming. Add the way I treat Him, the things I refuse to obey, times I chose my own will instead of trusting Him, not keeping an ongoing awareness of His presence, etc., well, it’s too much.

But we need to remember what Jesus did. Yes, it brings unbearable heartache, however that is just what we need to revere and honor the King of Kings and Lord or Lords. And who better to experience the heartache with than the Great Comforter?

P.S. I still am dreading hearing the details.

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