Monday, September 19, 2011


In the past 20 days, my heart has been crushed 3 the same friend. I went against my typical pattern of 'just writing the friend off' and vulnerably exposed my heart and feelings in attempts to savage the relationship. I clearly expressed why I was upset, what I needed, and the friend reciprocated with assurance things would change. I would be thankful, happy, and felt healthy in the manner which I handled the situation, only to find the friend continuing the same pattern.
I crashed (anyone who knows my history with my relatives and former church will understand why). Was I suppose to keep being hurt indefinitely for the sake of keeping relationships? I stayed in bed contemplating relationships, how apparent it was that I am unable to keep friendships. 

I had to go to a meeting with people from my new church and was introduced to several new "potential friends". I felt accepted, appreciated and thoroughly enjoyed myself. For the first time in 20 days, I forgot my heart-crushing friend. Then, from out of nowhere, someone said, "Maybe God is telling you to close the door on your old church... It's okay to move on, Shelly".

I needed to hear that. I believe those words were from God. It's time to move on. I emailed my former pastor (who I deeply respect and admire) an explanation of why I no longer attend his church (he had no idea what had happened) and his response was amazingly understanding. He is an incredible man. I owed him an explanation. 

Now I can move on. Sometimes we must close the door on friendships and even churches. The great thing is there are more friendships and churches on the other side.    


Lisa McFerren said...

Sometimes people can't and don't change, and it's best to just move on. It sounds like it is a step in the right direction and ultimately for the best. Good for you! :)

Shelly said...

Thanks, Lisa. I know you can relate.