One more thing, never feel guilty for being depressed when around you have it worse than you. Currently, I have lost all my good friends due to their not being able to handle the 'burden' and 'consuming effect' of my condition. Other than those on Fb, I have no one- no emergency contact- no one. I am on the meds the doctor is giving me. People tell me I must deal with life's ups and downs. I must be weak because I can no longer handle the ups and downs. But no, I am not weak. I am strong to get up each day and fight through this beast. Things are going good, in fact... I have a job, have money for my bills, have lots of blessings, but depression doesn't always depend on external factors. For some people (like me), it is neurochemical.
This poem is for those readers with depression who feel like no none understands:
I took a shower – as a depressive, that’s MAJOR
Individuals need respect for their individual behavior.
The “individual” concept seems not to exist-
‘Going along with the crowd’s” mentality persists.
We are not the same, deep down we stray,
But few are strong enough to act this way.
Be who you are… do you know who you are
Or have you adapted to the world’s definition thus far?
Unrecognized reflection stared back at me.
It looked like an erosion of who I should be.
Bags under my eyes, tired and weary-
Who is this girl –anxious and teary?
Fighting the authentic whom the world won’t accept-
Fighting the ‘me’ – whom my family rejects.
But I can’t change, I won’t change – God’s creation I am.
I refuse to give up because of my fam!
--- Shelly Weiss
Email me, leave a message under an alias.... do whatever it takes to reach out. You can't fight this alone. I know.