Thursday, August 2, 2012

August- Blah

Sometimes I consider stopping this blog, to keep writing a memoir and have it all out at once for fear of not glorifying God with my day-to-day life, but then I remember we are to glorify God in all we do… and my life is unfortunately marked by anxiety and depression, so I will find a way to glorify Him in this circumstance.

My only guess is I had such a wonderful couple of days, yesterday I was disappointed and discouraged when my ‘norm’ returned. I had plans with Karen but I canceled (only half due to my part, the other half was pest control), still, made sure I spoke on the phone with a few people (counting my bank!). Still, I was in bed for approximately 18 hours total.

I cannot allow myself to isolate.

The only comfort I found was listening to Psalms being read on iTunes. I focused, I believed, I knew the words to be true… and that is how I ended my day. I go back to the psychiatrist tomorrow and am hoping he will increase my antidepressant medication. I have to hang in there, for if all goes well. I will move back to Tallahassee in exactly one year. I have started saving my pennies. But first, I have to survive another year of holidays, including my birthday on August 24th.  I have yet to find ways to celebrate holidays alone (my relatives don’t even call). I will. It’ll get easier.

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