So I ended up going to the beach yesterday cause I knew I would stay in bed otherwise. Sometimes, I feel useless… absolutely useless. I have more than my share of prideful moments when I take entirely too much credit for my gifts and talents. And even days like yesterday and today, I know I have intelligence and empathy and understanding and the gift of writing (that is an incorrect sentence grammar-wise as I am using my poetic license). Still, without initiation, all the skills and gifts in the world is of any use. Depression sucks up all initiation, thus, staying in bed is always my “go-to activity”.
The beach was wonderful!!!! I haven’t felt that anxiety-free in a long, long time. Too long. I drafted an article to send to a magazine, ideas were flowing as I was subsumed in nature. I knew I had made the right decision.