Thursday, August 9, 2012

To Beach? Sleep? Write?

Jireh is sleeping after just returning from a puppy sleep-over. She will sleep most of the day, as will Addy. As I type this, I am debating whether to head to the beach since I haven’t been in so long and I think the ocean would help my anxiety. Plus, I am afraid if I stay home while Jireh is zonked out, I will crawl back in bed myself. And what a wasted day that would be. I tell myself if I bring a notebook to the beach, I will write, thus be productive, yet the gas money and food… blah, blah, blah-  expenses! I am trying to put money aside to move to Tallahassee after my initial books start selling – after all, I can write anywhere! Since I consider Tallahassee my home, why not write from Tally?

Money, it all comes down to money. I am so much further from where I was, yet still struggle at the end of every month (I receive disability for depression/anxiety on the 3rd of every month) and have only survived by miracles and gifts from others. While I see God’s provision when this happens, I know I am to be a better steward. As a single woman without a family, I have been gifted by God with talents and treasures, sufficient enough to take care of myself. That goal has started burning within… yes, I see God provides a way when there is no way… now it is time I pay not only MY way, but help others as God as helped me.

Jireh is still sleeping. The sun is shining, the beach is calling… yet I am looking long term now. I want my life to be better tomorrow than it is today. I keep meditating on the following verse from 2 Timothy 2:15- Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

I must write myself out of poverty… don’t think I will be going to the beach today…. unless the call of coming back to bed is too tempting…

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