Florida State is the niche I searched for my entire childhood. Intellectual discussions, research, actively living to make the world a better place, no segregation, no racism... a commonality of thinking for oneself and always bettering oneself. When I attended FSU, for the first time ever, I felt like I fit in... I had found the family I never had.
As soon as I could, I moved back to my beloved Tallahassee. They say you can't go home. They are wrong. I AM home.
Last night, my school played in one of our state rivalries. I usually watch on TV while working on a manuscript. Last night was different. I am passionate about my alumnus and the team we were playing ALWAYS bullies my team. When you dedicate so much of yourself to a school, you are loyal to anything related to the university.
I've learned my triggers. Last night, I didn't watch because I knew details would enrage me. I've learned to let God take control in ALL areas of my life, even college football. It's more than a game. It's loyalty. Details about triggers upset me for days after, in addition to having less than love for the opponents. This goes for my future, my career, my everyday life... whatever I'm passionate about... I knew watching the game would trigger me. Not watching, not wanting to know play by play, is not the healthiest use of my time.
The game started at 8pm... I stayed away from all updates. At midnight, I woke up and checked the score. Game over. No yelling at TV, no spike in blood pressure... it was taken care of without my involvement.
This is an example of how I've changed the past few years. I practice active faith, leave details to God, and find ways to personally glorify God. I trust Him. He has never let me down before. Things don't always go my way. My team doesn't always win. But that's alright. With Jesus, I'm on the victory team.