Saturday, February 17, 2018
The Writing Therapist: Ways to Handle Opposition http://thewritingtherapist.blogspot.com/2018/02/ways-to-handle-opposition.html?spref=tw
Thursday, February 15, 2018
*I am using this letter to a friend to explain my release from family drama. Just because your parents are your parents, if it is a toxic relationship, you need to let them go.
No one and nothing is worth your sanity.
By the way, there has been a lapse in my writing the past few days because of toxic relationships. By tending to toxic relationships, I have neglected the friends, work and quiet time that fulfills my quality of life.
Went to Walmart and got generic food... my fridge is full. Thank you. It's beyond comforting to look in my pantry and find food. It's like a life raft. And what you wrote to me was more poetic than anything I have ever read... it's hard wrapping my head around the fact those words are to ME from someone who means so much to me.
Hope you are getting work done. I agreed to write for a travel blog on how hotels are accommodating to people with disabilities. I need to catch up my own blogs after getting behind from crashing over the weekend.
Relatives are calling me and I finally got to the point of being honest when they ask where I have been for 30 years. They tell me my mom always said "Shelly isn't speaking to me", so last night, I told my cousin everything. Everything. From when mom butt called me and I overheard her saying how horrible I am, to trying to commit me, to sitting there when Mikie went to punch me, to not letting me stay with my dad on his death bed. So, yes, she was right saying "Shelly isn't speaking to me". And I explained why.
And my cousin CRIED, saying she had no idea, and how have I survived. And I said I kept going back to her until New Year's Eve, when I wrote her off forever. And I have never felt freer.
I have you and wonderful people in my life. And I have never felt more loved, or healthier.
We have to let go of the past for our own sanity. And God blesses us by filling our opened heart with people who love and treat us as we deserve.
Thank you for showing me the love of Christ. I love you, and trust Jesus more than ever.
Monday, February 12, 2018
There is no way to predict when a Crohn's attack will occur, nor how long it will last. Causes include spicy foods, lettuce, peanuts, and strangely for me, frappicinos ( I call them “crappicinios"). Surgically removing the blocked area is common, but since the blockage can impact another part of the intestine, I always refuse surgery. The small intestine is 20 feet long, so if I had the blockage removed every time I get sick, I won't have a small intestine and would need a drainage bag. You can read more information on Healthline and searching for Crohn's Disease.
For me, there is a direct correlation between stress/emotions and Crohn's. Having commitments stress me out, even commitments I want to attend. Also, there's a few interpersonal conflicts occurring with me as I grow into my next chapter.
More soon. For now, I need a nap.
Don't forget to click on the right hand link of thewritingtherapist.blogspot.com to donate for me to get a needed puppy to train before Jireh retires. Thank you.
Friday, February 9, 2018
The complex got a new Pest Control company. The last company knew not to knock on my door because of PTSD. Management is EXCELLENT understanding and accommodating my PTSD, including calling me before sending maintenance over. The knock on my door, a simple freaking knock on my door, brought back a myriad of horrific terrors. Just like that.
A single sound, smell, touch can fuel PTSD just like that. My heart is pounding out of my chest, and I can't stop catastrophising. I want Xanax. I seriously want Xanax.
My Jireh's bark is vicious, which comforts me knowing she scares people away. I am in the process of, well, I have been seriously considering setting up a GoFund me page to start raising money for a puppy golden retriever to train for after Jireh retires. Then, I had second thoughts, thinking when Jireh and Addy pass away, I will just stay in bed, writing, praying, and reading.
Before this, I contacted a breeder from my home town who I instantly connected to after seeing videos of her puppies, environment, and hearing Christian music in the background. She answered every question to my liking (tests goldens require, number of times they breed a female - I HATE WHEN PEOPLE BREED FEMALES MANY TIMES! POOR DOGS!, etc.). She truly cares for the dogs. That makes me feel like charging $1800 per puppy is reasonable. When she told me her husband is a Pastor, so she couldn't negotiate the price... I knew if God provides me the money, this family deserves the money.
So after I was just sent into A MAJOR PTSD MELTDOWN, I know I need a puppy. My vet will cover expenses (except for medications) after the puppy turns 6 mths old, which is how I afford to keep Jireh as a service dog. I will just have to pay for initial shots and get the puppy fixed. So here goes... watch how God works as I ask strangers (readers of my social media) to help me raise $2200 for a puppy who will help me keep my independence, helping me when I fall, when I have anxiety, depression, agoraphobia and even the times I get so depression, I feel I have nothing to live for. Watch God perform His miracles!