Thursday, June 26, 2008

Britain Beauty Contest

The New York Daily News announced Britain is having a beauty contest with contestants with disabilities. In fact, every contestant has a disability. I hate that. I think it is disgustingly putting people with disabilities into segregated groups of the 1960's. The aspect which bothers me the most is the article is written as if Britain's contest is a good thing.
'Britain's Missing Top Model' only features models with disabilities from around the world - including one from the U.S.. Among the eight lovely ladies who will duke it out onscreen are women without limbs, some who are partially paralyzed and one who is deaf.

Now, how is this a good thing? Giving women with disabilities a chance? No! In order to have a chance, we have to be included in the real world... the world of inclusion... with and without disabilities.
Yahoo only adds to the segregated sickness by adding a travel site and dating site for people with disabilities.

Hello?! While you're putting people into segregated groups, you all need to join the "Idiot Group"!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

You Can't Handle The Truth!

Recently, I've had one crisis after another - hard drive crashed, IPhone shattered, lost my job, lost traffic on my website, all leading to a deep clinical depression. My whole life is changing- I am in a sea of uncertainty- and friends tell me to keep the faith, God will provide, and they will pray for me. Well, that's nice of them. I have opened myself up, resisting my lifelong tendency to isolate for the sake of "God wants us in community" and "We cannot get through life's battles alone".

Yet when life gets uncomfortable and I am facing things like homelessness, disability, and wanting to die, these same advisors fade into silence, not knowing what to say... or they shut their ears because they are so overwhelmed, they don't know what to do.

I get that. So please get this: Don't blame me for isolating when you cannot handle my life! I can't be worried about overwhelming people with my issues when I am dealing with survival.

Finally, this was my response to an email telling me to take control and be determined to stay positive:

I actually had a discussion with someone about this topic earlier - while I agree no one can make us happy and we must take responsibility for our own quality of life, I have heard repeatedly we cannot do this alone, which is why God wants us in community. So I believe there is a fine balance between taking charge of your life with a positive outlook versus admittiing our need for help because life gets us down.


Just my thoughts.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Root Beer Reminder

Twyla went with me to try and exchange my shattered iPhone. Deep down, I believed I would be the exception, and Apple would give me a new one. I thought this would be a way God would ‘give me a break’. It didn’t happen. I was crushed. I was also very thirsty as the ordeal had me extremely nervous. We left the store with Twyla trying her hardest to encourage me. Finally, I told her it was very hard not to be mad at God. We tried to get some water but the vending machine was not working. I was getting angrier by the minute. My right arm has started hurting – not sure why – Twyla joked with me that maybe I am fighting God like Isaac did in Genesis, demanding God bless him. I have been waking up in a cold sweat the past three nights.

Our conversation continued as we exited the mall and looked for the nearest drive-thru with Coke. All the way, I told Twyla it’s not like I am asking for anything extravagant- just basic needs. God has promised to meet all my needs and he isn’t doing that. We paused as the drive-thru voice said they were out of Coke. I settled for root beer. I passed Twyla my last 2 dollars. The lady gave Twyla my drink but didn’t want the $2 since they were out of Coke. Twyla handed me the bills, drove away and said, “See – God didn’t give you a new iPhone, but he gave you a root beer!” We both thought it was a reminder – the iPhone is not a need... Quenching my thirst is. God keeps his promises.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Brief Update

I haven’t been blogging because I haven’t been believing. I have been in a deep pit, refusing to pray and spend quality time with Jesus. You see,. I have been presented with yet another ‘affliction’ which will oppress my life unless some great miracle happens. No, I am not dying of some incurable disease. This one is financial. Enough of that.

I am still wounded – still not ‘right’ with Jesus, but let me share something I read this morning:
When people refuse to see how fortunate they are and begin to take God’s gifts for granted, they become self-centered. Remembering God’s past protection will help you see his present provision.


Remember, never take God’s blessings for granted. Don’t allow your losses to overshadow God’s presence in your life.