This is from an email I sent yesterday:
Why is it so hard to just TRUST God?
I drove to Winter Park to pick up medication... Drove down Park Avenue with all the Mercedes' and BMW's, women with shopping bags, etc. and I started getting bitter... Why does money have to be such an issue for me? How do people support entire family's on one income? I worked so hard in school, for what?
Just then, the Third Day song came on "Nothing Compares to You"... It's true... as crappy as my life may appear right now, I would not trade my relationship with Jesus for all the money in the world. Even if someone said, "You can keep your security of salvation and going to heaven, but not your personal relationship with Jesus, in exchange for the perfect husband, unlimited financial resources, and great health, not even depression...." I would not do it.
My relationship with Him is priceless.
Still, this is hard to keep going through.