Monday, February 7, 2011

Love my Pastor

Love My Pastor

Love My Pastor

Be Like Jesus

My entire life, I have believed God’s will for me was to encourage others with disabilities and afflictions. After all, there is a reason why I talk and walk differently from others. Having a passion for writing with the gift of introspection and a brain that is able to cognitively process information, the way I am created had made my purpose in life evident – until a few months ago. I’ve been struggling to discover why I am here. Obviously, God still has work for me to do since he hasn’t called me home to heaven. I am fine not having a husband… I am quite happy not having children… but not having a purpose, at least not knowing His purpose for me, is unbearable.
Think about Jesus, how he was rejected and denied even by his closest friends (i.e. Peter) yet he kept doing His Father’s will. He stayed focus on His mission, knowing and doing what truly mattered. 

I want to be like Jesus.

I don’t know what my next step is or how specifically God wants me to live for Him. I
know that I want to be like Jesus – and that is one of the few things in life that never changes. My frustration is with not knowing how my disability and writing plays in the picture. But maybe I have the picture too narrow. Maybe I am concentrating so much on seeing the vision that I am missing the big picture. After all, even Jesus didn’t have all the answers as he asked the Father why he had forsaken him (Matt. 27:46).

When it all comes down to it, isn’t that what is most important? To know Jesus loves us and will never let us go? Truly, regardless of what is in our bank account, refrigerator, or family album,
none of it matters without feeling safe and loved.
Jesus gave up everything to give us that security and love. But we must accept it, take the gift. As Christians, being like Jesus is our universal purpose. Even if our job duties are unclear, we must show up for work. God will tell us where he needs us to work. Until he does, sit at his feet and wait. He may want you to stay and talk with him awhile, free from distractions. Not only does he have the Master Plan, he has everything taken care of… including you.
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. – Colossians 3:1,2

Sunday, February 6, 2011


3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. - 2 Corinthians 1:3,4

Writing about personal experiences is indeed risky, scary, and yet powerful. Anything worthwhile will be risky, scary, and powerful. As I consider the main thing that is sustaining me through this season in the desert, I am humbled to realize it is the very thing I feel God calling me to share with the oppressed and afflicted: His Word. No matter how depressed or tired I get, He has never failed to provide me with words of encouragement. When I sit down at the keyboard, His words flow through me like a spring from my heart… He is calling me to use His words to water gardens besides my own. Those in darkness that need His Light, and those in a sun-scorched land which need living water from the fountain of life.

Don't let your trials be in vain- use them to comfort others. Listen to people with the compassion Christ shares with you.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Saving Faith

RC Sproul writes the following: Saving faith is composed of information, intellectual assent, and personal trust. Saving faith involves content…Saving faith includes the mind’s assent to the truth of the gospel. There is an element of trust in saving faith. It involves personal reliance and dependence upon the gospel. 

This is one of the paradoxes of Christianity: Worldly poverty magnifies richness in God’s Grace. In my times of extreme darkness, Christ brings His brightest light to what I have in Him. When I am weakest, He makes me the strongest by revealing the incomparable gifts** He has given me.

*Romans 10:10
For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.
**Ephesians 2:8-10For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. 

Thursday, February 3, 2011


*Reposted from 2007

We are profoundly ordinary people sharing the same need to feel included, recognized and loved. As long as we regard our disabilities as tragedies, we will be pitied. As long as we feel ashamed of who we are, our lives will be regarded as useless. As long as we remain silent, we will be told by others what to do.

Adolf Ratzka 2005

My friend has been trying to bring me to the Catholicism camp,
appealing to me with words like ‘contemplative’, mystic, and abbey. “Just
think, Shelly, you could live in solitude, pulling a levy to get your food
so you don’t even have to interact with the kitchen staff!” Another coworker
joined in, “but you have to  become a Catholic.” I told them I had some
issues such as praying to the saints and purgatory… “Oh, we don’t require
that anymore,” they told me.  Personally, I think they are trying to earn
some membership toaster or something for recruiting members.
Today, my goal (with His strength) is to remain isolated in my mind as much
as possible. In other words, remain in constant communion with Him, praying and listening to him, even when others are around. This stems from words I read in 2 Thess. 3 regarding idle, unproductive busy bodies… and the need to keep away from them.  Even if we don’t  get into others business and am guarded against gossip, we can get too wrapped up in our feelings and
thoughts about temporary matters, especially expecting too much of people.
We lose sight of the eternal for the sake of the temporal. While waiting for
others, we are left behind. 

This is something I wrote last night as I was reminded that confidence in men comes from confidence in God:

Can’t wait around for others to help
While they’re solidifying their dreams-
Take a leap, go out in faith –
Trusting things aren’t as bad as they seem.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Rain – how it seasons the words that I write, 
And it’s rhythmic beatings lull my sleep at night. 
Inspires contemplation, my welcomed friend. 
But when the beach is calling, the love of rain ends. 
Isn’t this the way humans are? 
Judging, perceiving based on motives and scars? 
Consider the defining cause for one’s basis… 
How little impact comes from external faces. 

*note: If only I could view myself as Jesus views me… beautiful, forgiven, loved, and worthy enough to die for. Jesus is never a fair-weathered friend… He always sees me shine.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Addy and Jireh are both walking on egg shells 'cause they see I am in a bad mood. I hate when I get this way. Trying to finish an article and keep getting interrupted.

I need the super nanny/dog whisperer.

OKAY... but things to be grateful for: warming up, Addy & Jireh love me, I am a great therapist (I know after hearing so many people tell me, "I don't know how to help..."), showing me God has equipped me with tools for writing/counseling that are not common in the human population... and a great writer. I have many blessings. Focussing on the positive!

When someone tells you something that seems so overwhelming and tragic, don't pull away in silence. THEY NEED A FRIEND! SOMEONE TO JUST LISTEN TO THEM! They don't expect you to fix their world... JUST BE THERE AND LISTEN! HOW HARD IS THAT? Can you imagine praying to Jesus and He replies with silence because He doesn't know what to do or how to help? He DOES KNOW how to help. HE CAN help, yet HE stays with us when we have to walk through crap. BE THE FRIEND THAT JESUS IS TO YOU!